For a while now, God has been working in me to enjoy the journey. It seems like such a simple concept – enjoy the moments, smell the roses, dance in the rain. Why is it so hard to actually do? I’m wired to see the big picture. I notice how everything connects and see how one thing affects another. It’s a strength in some areas of my life, but it also is my downfall at times. I need to know how each thing is going to take me where I want to go. I have a destination, and everything I do should get me closer to that place. In the process, I miss out on a lot of great things. I just don’t see them because my eyes are fixed on my destination. I have a hard time slowing down and enjoying what’s passing me by as I steam ahead to my destination. There are times that I have to slow down – physically, mentally, and emotionally, I need downtime to recharge. But I very seldom choose to slow down simply to enjoy doing nothing.
It’s only been a day since I took the step to give up my job (and control) and see what God will do. My journey to the next season in my life has officially begun. Because of my wiring, I have already found myself starting to think and wonder about how God is going to provide, and what He has in store for me. Today, though, I realized that it’s not really that important. This particular season isn’t about the season at all – it’s about the moments. What God will provide and where He eventually leads doesn’t matter right now. What matters is the downtime. I believe that is why God asked me to quit before having something else lined up.
I have twelve more work days left. That is an exciting thought for me, but it is also important to me that I treat that time responsibly. I don’t want to look past it because I feel that there are things that I want and need to complete before I leave. So I am forcing myself to focus most of my thoughts and energy on that and nothing past that.
In some of my conversations with friends, one of the things that came up was taking some time to decompress after my last day at work. It would be easy for me to immediately dive into finding a new job, but God is giving me some downtime, and I need to use it. He wants me to rest. He wants me to recharge. He wants me to listen. He wants me enjoy the journey.
Because of everything that I’ve struggled with in the last few years, I really need God to provide. But what I realized today is that I need to focus on the time between my last day and when I start the next job that God provides. Whether that’s a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, there is something that God wants to show me in that time. I have been feeling empty lately. I just don’t have anything left. I believe that God wants to use my downtime to fill me up. I just need to stop and enjoy the moments without trying to fit them into the bigger picture of the path to my destination.
Where God is leading is of no importance right now. Stopping to rest, to look around me, to allow myself to be filled up – that is what I need. It’s not as easy as it sounds…
My journey has begun…