“I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.”
I have heard these words so many times in my life. They are words that everyone has heard at some point, regardless of where you stand on faith and God. Even after all of the times I’ve heard the words, I’ve not really thought much about them.
In my preparations for choreographing, I spent a lot of time really listening to the words of the song. That’s how I choreograph. I want my movements to tell the story of the song or help to convey the message. In order to do that, I have to really know the words of the song and the message that God intends for me to convey.
These words really struck me as I was listening to the song. I’m not really comfortable with the words ‘lost’ and ‘blind’. They are things that I don’t want to be. When I have to drive somewhere new, I do everything I can to make sure that I have very detailed directions. The thought of getting lost creates fear and panic for me. I have gotten lost before, and I have discovered that I am very good at getting ‘unlost’, but I still would rather not get lost in the first place.
‘Blind’ is another word that makes me uncomfortable. I have never experienced blindness on any level, but the thought of it scares me. I wouldn’t want to be without my sight.
But I think the words go beyond just ‘lost’ and ‘blind’. Those words probably make a lot of people uncomfortable. I don’t think I know many people who would choose to be lost or blind. They are fitting words for our lives before we establish a true relationship with God. I also think they are fitting words for our struggles after we establish a true relationship with God. I think if we limit those words to our lives before our relationship, we are limiting God’s amazing grace.
I have been in true relationship with God for over ten years. It has completely changed my life, but I still have struggles and I still find myself lost at times. I have felt that way recently, and it is not a fun place to be. My first instinct is to avoid or ignore it. Maybe it will just go away. But the words of this song have a different meaning for me now. I am not truly ‘found’ unless I have been ‘lost’. I do not truly ‘see’ unless I have been ‘blind’.
Life is not always joyful. If it were, we would never be able to truly enjoy that feeling. It would be too normal and mundane. We have to experience the sorrows in order to truly experience joy. So, although it is not fun to be lost, if I were never in that place, I would never know what it felt like to be found.
I have been trying to focus on the anticipation of being found – and in that I have found hope.