The dictionary states that to heal means to make whole and healthy; to cure; to remedy, repair; to grow sound.
At first glance, one could infer that to heal means to take away all pain; to be happy; to not suffer; to not be broken. I think that’s how a lot of us view healing. I know it’s how I have. But is it how God views healing?
I have been asking for healing. I’m tired of the pain. I’m at a place in my life where I just don’t want to hurt anymore. My prayer has been for God to take the pain away – to heal my heart.
But that’s not really what God considers healing. He doesn’t just take away the pain. He wants us to live through it. He wants our hearts to be broken. He fills the broken parts of our hearts. Without being broken, our hearts would have no room for Him.
I’ve spent most of my life building walls around my heart to protect myself from pain. I chose numbness instead of feeling the hurt and pain. In the last few years, the walls around my heart have come down. I’ve resisted connecting with the pain, though. There are days that I wish that the wall was still there – that I could not feel.
But God wants us to feel – the good and the bad. He suffered the pain of our punishment, and He wants us to feel and know His pain and the pain of others so we can act under His guidance to heal and deliver. Feeling the pains/brokenness of others seemed easy to me. If I bore the burdens of others, maybe I could avoid my own. But walking with someone through times of pain and facing their brokenness with them had a very different effect on me than I had hoped. Instead of avoiding my own pain and brokenness, it brought me face to face with it. I never really had a good model of how to deal with emotions of any kind so I am still struggling with the intensity of what I have been feeling.
We have to go through the pain and brokenness to be whole, healthy, and sound. That is God’s true healing process. In connecting with our own pain, we become more connected with God through the pain Jesus suffered on the cross, and we become more connected with others through the universal brokenness of the human race.
Maybe instead of praying for the pain to be taken away, I should be praying that God fill the broken places of my heart.